Jokes You Won’t Find in Your Christmas Cracker


At the Weird Fish HQ we love jokes and riddles. A good laugh is the best medicine and these are bound to entertain the whole family this Christmas.

What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?


What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island?

A melt!

Who is Santa’s favourite actor?

Willem Dafoe-ho-ho

Why didn't Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem?

All Virgin flights were cancelled!

I got a Christmas card full of rice in the post today...

‘I think it was from my Uncle Ben!’

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas?

He felt his presents

Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital?

Because he has private elf care

Who is a Christmas tree’s favourite singer?

Spruce Springsteen

What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?


What happened to the burglar who robbed an advent calendar factory?

He got 25 days

Which Christmas carol is about an animal with three legs?

Little Wonkey

What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?

Fleece Navidad!